I’m an early riser. Or maybe I should say I’m an early-alarm-setter. My alarm is set for 5:30, but sometimes I’ll turn it off and go back to bed for 5-30 minutes. It all depends on how I feel when that alarm goes off and what I have on the agenda that day.
My iPhone is my alarm clock, and to ensure that I get up when it goes off, I put the phone in the bathroom, not on my bedside table.
This morning when the alarm sounded, I was still in a dead sleep—a perfect scenario for going back to bed for a few more minutes. I shuffled to the phone to shut it up, and when I swiped the alarm button to turn it off, the screen went to my email inbox. I took a quick glance and saw that I had a message from my niece, Mindi. Curiosity got the better of me, so before climbing back into my warm bed, I took a moment to read her message, which was as follows:
lol!!!!! whyyyy were ur pantssss off in thissss piccc?? LOOK apps.facebook.com/54482320X?*409… (by the way, I’ve “doctored” that link, so don’t bother trying to go there; it’s scam. Duh!).
Did I say that I was in a dead sleep? Well, that was immediately a vague memory. Suddenly, I was FULLY awake, all systems “GO!” The picture below aptly represents how I felt on the inside:
My mind started spinning. What picture could she possibly be talking about? It’s 5:30; if I hurry, I can take it down before anyone sees it. I went straight to my computer. I didn’t brush my teeth, I didn’t comb my hair, I didn’t even put my contacts in (and that is normally done within 60 seconds of getting out of bed). I was on a mission. Time was a wastin’.
Now I know what you’re thinking. It’s a scam. Anyone would know that. And if you were the one telling this story, I would say/think exactly the same thing. Even in all the semi-awake frenzy, in the recesses of my mind, that thought was there. But let me tell you something about being on Facebook with your pants off: IT’S NOT A CHANCE YOU WANT TO TAKE! I was not willing to go back to bed and bet my modesty that the message was a scam. Of course I have never had my picture taken with my pants off, but I am all-too-aware of the magic of software like Photoshop.
Pecking the computer keyboard furiously (in the spirit of the picture above), I scoured Facebook and Twitter for a picture of me with my pants off. As a last-ditch effort, I wrote my niece and asked if she sent the message. Mercifully, she responded immediately, “Ha! No, I certainly didn’t, thanks for the notice… And trust me, if a photo of you surfaced on Facebook with your ‘pantssssss off’ I wouldn’t preface my message to you with an ‘LOL.’”
That’s how my day started.
A couple of hours later, I had four of my grandchildren and we embarked upon a homemade-ornament-making mission (I was inspired by my post earlier this week where I made reference to making ornaments with my kids when they were little). First we made homemade play dough (fun; therapeutic). Then we rolled it out like cookie dough and used cookie cutters to create Christmas-y shapes (cute), which were then baked at a low temperature for about an hour (an hour is not long enough) and then, supposedly, we’d have a bunch of awesome, child-made, precious keepsake ornaments (theoretically).
They say that the more intelligent children are, the more creative they are. Since all my grands are incredibly smart, they always get off the beaten path of stereotypes and and conjure up their own creations. So before I knew it, they were straying from the cutesy little gingerbread men and snowmen and making scrolls with the word “JOY” spelled out in a contrasting color, modifying the gingerbread men into angels with wings, and a Jesus on the cross. Yes, that’s right. Bear made a Jesus-on-the-cross ornament complete with blood stains where the head, hands and feet were (red play dough)—and a Jesus, too. The Jesus was a gingerbread man (see picture).